An Eye Is upon You

I listen to PM5K a lot when I work out. Now I play this track at the beginning of each workout. I always thought it sounded cool, but now the words have a deeper meaning for me.

Spinning complacently in the darkness I’ve wasted my life accomplishing nothing and no longer do the creative things that brought me happiness. I didn’t even notice it happening.
Covered and blinded by a blanket of little lives I’ve worried too much about what others think of me. I let the pain of their blindness to my efforts force me to retreat further into myself. I eventually became as they saw me and could see no way out.
False security has lulled the madness of this world into a slumber For years I’ve been existing, but I haven’t been living. I’ve spent a decade where most days I didn’t want to be awake. Going from sleeping a whole day through to not being able to sleep for two, and on those I buried myself in video games so I had something to distract me from just being.

Wake Up! I have and I’m ready to feel alive again.
An eye is upon you my own, seeing what I’ve become
Staring straight down and keenly through, I see that while others fashioned my prison of thought, my cage of depression, I stepped inside it with no resistance and allowed them to lock the door behind me. The fault is my own.
Seeing all that you are and everything that you can never be I see myself clearly now, I am a shadow of who I was, I let fruitless distractions turn me from productive pursuits that brought me happiness. I see I can’t be the man I want to be if I never make myself change.
Yes, an eye is upon you, an eye ready to blink. I have to let go of the pain that has kept me who I am. I have to look away from who I was and look to who I want to be.

So face forward, with arms wide open and mind reeling Changing myself is easier that I would have thought, I know what it is to feel driven again.
Your future has arrived…Are you ready to go? I am, and I will turn myself into a man worth being. It begins with my weight, this fat body of mine is now a chrysalis 
from which I will eventually emerge anew.